DON’T go in the house. DON’T look in the basement. And whatever you do, DON’T part with a single discretionary dollar before you visit Red Bank oRBit.

This Halloweekend, the stakes are high, the moon is full (more or less) and the night is neverending, thanks to Daylight Savings Time and a general desire to wring some fun out of 2009 in the late innings. And the oRBit desk has looked to The Orb event calendar for guidance, separating the tricks from the treats, the boutique chocolate from the dollar-store candy corn.

We’ve got the dish and the details on the parades and the parties; the movie marathons and musical madness; the live-action chills and the lantern-lit tours. We’ll take you to our favorite walk-through spookhouse in an abandoned police station, to a costume bash that turns one of the area’s most venerable hotels into a recreation of The Shining — with stops at a satanic sideshow, a zombified Beatles tribute, and even a formal ballet based on Dracula.

It’s all here in the cobwebbed outer limits of  Red Bank oRBit — with more to follow on Friday, as we round up the weekend’s NON-Halloweeny offerings, including a daytripping visit by the “real” Stephen Colbert!